totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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