I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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