I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
