kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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