I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
