Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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