I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
