They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Oh god it's open bar.
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