She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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