He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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