I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
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