Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
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There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
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Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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