my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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