We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
