U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
