Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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