i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
