oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
