Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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