if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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