Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize