hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
