he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
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she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
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The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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