If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
