if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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