her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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