Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
