ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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