Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
