WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
