I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
