i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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