eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She's the barista slut.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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