I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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