Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
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I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
tell me about the eggs
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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