I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
