Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
