What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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