i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
