now i know why i became what i already was.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
