fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
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You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
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I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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