NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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