I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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