her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
