no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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