I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
