I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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