At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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