before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
