You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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