just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
