break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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