ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
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Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
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Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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