so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
