What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
