From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Sorry about my life...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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