when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
