She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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