Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
