I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She bit a glass in half.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
