Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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